A few new and a few old favorites from “A Geezers Garden of Verses”

Nervous Man
There was a nervous man,
Lived in a nervous house,
He had a nervous dog
And a nervous little spouse.

He had a little tic,
That twitched in every case,
And when he raised his eyebrows,
It twitched right off his face.

He cursed his nervous habits,
And his life of nervous need,
But dared not change them,
Oh no no!
Who knows where that would lead?

But sometime dreamt a difference,
But somewhere saw a start,
And through his dreams and passions,
Was reminded of his heart.

My Body
(Sung to the tune of “My Bonnie Lies over the Ocean”)
My body lies when it feels healthy,
My body’s a stranger to me,
It whispers of life’s limitations
Oh bring back my body to me.

Ohhh, bring back
Flashback,
Bring back my body to me, to me
Throw back,
Fast track,
Bring back my body to me.

It’s weathered my trials and my troubles
It’s been such a great friend to me,
It promised me multiple lifetimes
But suddenly wants to be free.

Oh bring back
Soul black
‘Scuse me again but
I have to pee.
Bring back, with no slack
Bring back my body to me.

There’s no point to singing this ditty,
You can’t reverse time back to youth,
Life’s good but it ain’t always pretty
Much better when you face the truth.

Ohhhhh, let go,
Go slow,
Beauty is something to stop and see,
Joy knows,
Aches go
Along with the license to see.

Trumtpy Dumpty
Trumpty Dumpty
Sat on his Wall,
Trumpty Dumpty
Had a great fall.

All Twitter’s forces
And all the smart set,
Couldn’t find Trumpty
Without internet.

Small Complaint
I have this little ear thing,
It makes me kind of deaf.
If you would like to reach me,
Speak not unto my left.

My right-hand side still hears okay,
Except upon occasion,
When I don’t like the things you say
And need a quick evasion.

I have this little knee thing,
A teeny, weeny pain.
It hurts me when I’m walking,
From jogging I refrain.

And swimming, yoga, making love,
Can’t stand that little ache,
My choice is keep on truckin’
Or start to plan the wake.

I have this little defect
I can’t remember words,
Like regiment and labrynthe,
My speech is quite absurd.

I know it’s not dementia,
My mind is like a trap.
The words get trapped ‘tween
Brain and tongue,
And fear to leap the gap.

And now for a few old favorites…

I’m a little teapot
I’m a little teapot
Short and stout,
Last night I was Moses
Speaking on the Mount,
Increasingly these episodes
Are what I am about,
Don’t tip me over
I’m filled with doubt.

Mrs. Muffet
Mrs. Muffet
Had a fat tuffet
When people commented
She told them to “Stuff it”.
Along came a spider,
Decided to ride her,
She smashed that arachnid
Like a supercollider.

Wee Willie Winkie
Wee Willie Winkie
Runs through the town,
Upstairs, downstairs
In his nightgown.

Is anybody watching him?
Where the Hell’s his nurse?
Somebody call 911,
Old age is a curse.

Mary had a Nurse’s Aide
Mary had a nurse’s aide
His skin was black and glowed,
And everywhere that Mary went
Her aide was sure to go.

He followed her to vote one day
Which was against the rule,
It made poll workers laugh and say
“You can’t vote here you fool!”

Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe
There was an old woman
Who lived in a shoe,
Her social security
Hadn’t come through.
The government told her
It had no more bread,
She whipped them all soundly
And sent them to bed.